Saturday, October 27, 2007

My Mother-in-law, the Superhero

My mother-in-law is a superhero. She rarely wears a cape, although she should. She doesn’t have x-ray vision, or leap tall buildings in a single bound. But she has proven herself to possess super-human bravery, and powers which defy all logic. The story I am about to tell you is one hundred percent true – no exaggerations, no embellishments. Just cold, hard facts.

Nana is an animal lover. She is the proud owner of Belle, a Miniature Schnauzer, and Abby, a Shih Tzu. She is also the proud grand-owner of Shamgar, our Lhasa Apso. Shamgar loves to visit Nana’s house, for she doesn’t treat her dogs like animals. Instead, she showers them with love and affection, spoils them with puppy treats, and treats them as honored guests.

Every once in a while (like when we are going on vacation,) Shamgar goes to Nana’s house for a week or two. All by himself. Just for fun. On one such visit, Nana let Shamgar, Abby and Belle into her backyard for their morning routine. She returned to her kitchen and was preparing her morning cup of tea when she heard a ruckus coming from the backyard. She peered out the window, and before her eyes was the neighbor’s large Blue Heeler. His jaws were clamped around Shamgar’s neck, and he was slinging our little Lhasa around as if he were a chew toy.

Now, a mere mortal would have stood at a safe distance, yelling at the dog, perhaps throwing shoes or rocks. A mere mortal would have called 9-1-1. But we are not talking about your average, run-of-the-mill person, remember? Nana is a superhero. And with the grit that is only present in true superheroes, Nana ran into the backyard, straddled the Blue Heeler, sat on him, and pried his jaws open. Shamgar escaped into a corner, and Nana stood up, ready to send the Blue Heeler packing. But apparently, this Blue Heeler wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box. Apparently, he didn’t know who he was dealing with.

Monster Dog (as we affectionately call him, rest his soul,) chased Shamgar down again, and began to repeat the grueling scene. This dog was bloodthirsty. He wanted to kill Shamgar. But never fear, Nana was there!

Once again, she straddled Monster Dog, pried his jaws open, and set Shamgar free. This time, she held the dog by its collar and ordered Shamgar, Abby, and Belle into the house. When they were safely inside, she let go of the bully.

But remember, this dog wasn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. Again, he chased after Shamgar, and went right into Nana’s living room! Fortunately, our little Shamgar is one smart fellow. What he lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in intelligence. He was nowhere to be found.

For the third time, Nana pursued Monster Dog. This time, she got him out of her house and locked the door. Shamgar was taken to the animal hospital, and received many, many stitches. But . . . you should see the other guy. Rest his soul.

Apparently, this wasn’t Monster Dog’s first offense. As sad as it may seem, measures had to be taken to prevent future attacks on animals and children. As for Nana, she hasn’t needed to use her superhero powers since that day last summer. But if you ever look up in the sky and see a sixty-something woman with a red cape zooming by, just wave. You can rest easy, knowing that all is safe. Nana is on patrol.

Proverbs 12:10 “A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal.”